Kashmiri Weddings – A Grand Affair

Like all other marriages in India, the first and foremost step in a Kashmiri matrimonial is to find the perfect match for the prospective bride or groom. The parents first match the horoscopes of the would-be couple. After the match has been finalized, the wedding date is proposed by the bride's parents. Once the groom's parents accept the proposed date, the purohit (priest) fixes the wedding date.
Wedding Rituals of a Kashmiri Marriage
The Wedding ensemble of the bride and the groom - The dress which is meant to be worn during the wedding is the pheran. The groom adorns a tweed pheran with a sword in his waistband and jootis (footwear) in his feet. On his head, the groom wears a turban (gordastar) on which a peacock feather is tied with a golden thread. The bride's dress or pheran is mostly made of raffle, with ari work or hook embroidery at the neck, cuff and edges.
Ceremony at the groom's house:
The groom is helped by his parental uncle to tie the gordastar (turban). Before the marriage procession, the groom’s family and relatives leave for the bride's house, during that time the groom is supposed to stand on a vyoog (rangoli), a decorative pattern made of rice flour and colours). He is given nabad to eat, a conch shell is sounded to announce his departure, and two rice pots containing some money are given away as alms to the poor as a gesture of goodwill.
Reception Ceremony:
The arrival of the matrimony procession starts with relatives of the bride greeting the procession warmly and announcing the procession by blowing a conch shell. Fathers of both the bride and the groom exchange jaiphal (nutmeg) symbolizing the solemnization of the relationship with a promise of a friendship that has to last forever. The maternal uncle of the bride has to take her out to the place where vyoog has been prepared and where the groom stands. After that, either eldest member of the family or the bride’s mother, performs puja with lamps made of wheat flour and feeds nabad to the bride and the groom and kisses both of them on the forehead.
Food served during the wedding: The bride’s family serves kahwa to the relatives and friends, which is followed by a vegetarian meal served in earthen kiln-baked pots (called tabhe). There are about 21-25 dishes that are prepared for the guests. In addition to the seven basic vegetarian preparations mentioned earlier, these dishes include delicacies like kangach, which is a rare and expensive dish; marchwangan pokore; madur pulao (a sweet rice prepared only for special occasions); and shufta, which is made from paneer, fried with nuts and sweetened with sugar.
The wedding ceremony (Lagan):
When the actually wedding ceremony takes place, the purohit performs the rituals in front of a sacred fire. Now, the groom and the bride see each other for the first time through the images formed in the mirror. This is a custom which is still prevailing in India after all the modernization. After that, they are supposed to hold hands of each other firmly so that the grip does not get loosened with the passage of time. Then the groom holds the left hand of the bride with his right hand and same is done by the bride and their hands are covered with a piece of cloth. Then the bride and the groom take the first phera or round around the sacred fire by stepping on seven one rupee coins. After the wedding, an elaborate dinner is set for the guests.
Posh Puza
At the end of the ceremony, the bride and the groom are made to sit in a relaxed position. A red cloth is placed on their heads, and all the relative/friends present around offer them flowers (posh) along with the recital of Veda mantras. The basis of this custom is that the couple is considered to be Shiva and Parvati and have to be duly worshipped. First there mantras are for the bride and the groom separately followed by mantras meant for both jointly. Marriage is a divine union between a girl and a boy and they have to live this life of Artha (wealth) and Kama (desires) with complete respect to Dharma (righteousness) and aspire for Moksha (emancipation).

Sukhpreet Kaur writes on behalf of Jeevansathi.com, which is India’s fastest growing matrimonial website, provides online Indian matrimonial classified services. Jeevansathi.com enables users to create aKashmiri matrimony profile on the website and allow prospective grooms and brides to contact each other. Users can search for profiles through advanced search options on the website. Users can avail free registration and make initial contact with each other through services available on Jeevansathi.com via Chat, SMS, and e-mail