Marrying a Single Parent

If you are marrying a single parent, you have to be fully aware that you are going to be joining and involved in a family unit that is already functioning. It is up to you to make sure that you arrive as a boost to that unit in every way possible. You can not marry only your spouse, as you must also marry the child as its parent.

In a healthy parenting situation, such as one where the original parents are still married and happily together, a child and the parent of the same sex will likely function in many ways as one person married to the other parent. A child will look up to and learn from both of its parents, but the one it is most likely to learn from and the one it generally seeks to learn from most is the parent of the same gender. If the child respects the parent then it will likely attempt to model its style after that parent. If the parent and child do not have a good relationship then the child will not model itself after the parent and there will be a situation where there seem to be three in the family rather than two.

This causes competition for the attention and appreciation of the other parent since there will be a progressive and natural tendency to be the singular male or female relating to the other parent. Essentially a healthy family unit is one where there are really just two parents in a relationship with the children as younger extensions of them.

In a situation where the child's original parent that they do not primarily live with is still a big part of their lives or even still in contact on a regular basis, then the situation is drastically different. In all honesty, it essentially means that you are actually entering into a relationship with that person also. This can be challenging since that person may possibly feel that they need to compete with you for the child's adoration and appreciation.

This is obviously silly and childish as the child's best interests are actually the primary focus of both you and this other parent. It is best to have a meeting with this person to create a partnership with this parent so that the child will have the best situation possible. In your meeting with this person make sure to emphasize your shared commitment to the child and your focus on teamwork to help the child be as happy as possible and have the best life possible.

You must remember that you are going to be working together with the child's other parents to raise them to be the best that they can be! This is your focus when marrying a person who is a single parent!

More help on weddings can be found at Wedding Junction, which has a complete section on wedding speeches.