When the Maid of Honor is Not Made of Money

Funny thing about most evolving wedding trends-usually it means a new, outrageously expensive idea implemented by someone trying to outdo those who wed before her. Case in point: Destination weddings started out as delightful, weekend affairs at a beach in close proximity to the bride's home. Now American brides and grooms ask their wedding party and guests to shell out money for a wedding weekend on a beach in Bali or a charming farmhouse in France.

Add those travel costs to the money required for a maid of honor or bridesmaids to spend for a dress, shoes, accessories, hair and make-up, hosting bridal showers, bachelorette parties and buying gifts for their friend-it makes losing a friend a more viable option than losing their entire life savings. According to leading wedding website theknot.com, it can easily cost a woman $1,000 and more for the honor of serving as maid of honor or bridesmaid, and there is a limit to what many can reasonably afford. What's a woman to do? CNN.com recently provided some excellent suggestions for potential maids of honor, bridesmaids and brides:

• Brides, detail your expectations for your attendants early so they'll know exactly what you expect of them. They may have some serious soul-searching to do.



• Brides, please be sensitive to your friends' finances. You don't have to choose outrageously expensive attendant's dresses, nor must you have an over-the-top bridal shower, a destination bachelorette party or a Jack-and-Jill party. Talk with them. Be willing to compromise and explore other ideas.



• Maids of honor and bridesmaids, if your bride-to-be friend is expecting everything mentioned in the previous tip and your pocketbook can't handle it, talk to her and be honest about your financial situation. If she's truly a friend she'll back off on her expectations, offer to help pay for the big parties she wants or free you from your obligation as her attendant.



• Share the celebration expenses. Most maids of honor believe the obligation of throwing the bridal shower and bachelorette parties is theirs, though that's not necessarily true anymore. Divide the costs of the events among all the bride's attendants.



• Maids, don't forget. It's also OK to say no. Just do it early.

Susan Hawkins is a Senior Writer for My Wedding Favors located online at http://www.myweddingfavors.com. My Wedding Favors offers unique wedding favors, bridesmaid gifts, invitations and much more.