Golf: the easy way to lose your sense of fair play

“If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.” ~Lee Trevino

Despite appearances, golf is by all accounts an interesting game. Being both revered and cursed by professionals and amateurs alike does nothing to hamper the regularity with which it’s played, nor does it dampen the ardour to play more. It has a reputation as an elitist sport, owing largely to exorbitant start-up costs and the perceived snobbery of the country clubs where it is played. But many find that it’s a wonderful leveller. Everyone is equal on the golf course. All players are subject to the agonies of a bad lie and a double bogey, and the ecstasy of a straight drive and successful birdie putt.

"Every rock'n'roll band I know, guys with long hair and tattoos, plays golf now." – Alice Cooper, 47.

Tiger Woods has done a lot for the popularity of golf, especially among those who would ordinarily never have expressed an interest in the sport. He’s a far cry from the stereotypical grey-haired, retired doctor image of golfers that most of us grew up with. For one thing, he doesn’t wear dodgy plaid pants with clashing shirts. He dresses quite snappily in his sponsored Nike shirts and caps. For another, and this has been pointed out on a number of occasions, he’s black.
“Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.” ~Author Unknown

Tiger Woods being a black man doesn’t mean anything in itself, but when one considers how lily-white the playing field has been since the game’s inception, in conjunction with its elitist reputation, his being black suddenly has enormous social implications. His arrival on the golf scene and his resulting meteoric rise to the top challenged a lot of people’s assumptions about the game. Particularly the assumption that you have to come from money and the “right side of the tracks” if you want to play, and play well. He’s an inspiration to many children, not just to those who want to play golf, but also to those who want to break into any area traditionally perceived as being closed to them.

“Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." - Craig Stadler

His success in the white, male-dominated world of golf opened the doors for other “minority” players. Annika Sorenstam would have had a much tougher time getting into the men’s PGA tournament if Woods hadn’t already broken some traditionally discriminatory mindsets for her. As it is, some male players still live in the dark ages and gave her plenty of stick. Vijay Singh did not endear himself to female golfers or women in general when he said that ladies had no place in men’s tournaments.

“Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.” ~John Updike

These days everyone places golf. Gone are the days when you would see only doctors playing a round on Wednesday afternoons. Nowadays professionals from all fields regularly use golf courses as places of business, trading, networking and dishing the latest gossip between 18 holes. In fact, not playing golf is now considered a handicap in the world of business, as promotions go more readily to those who can slot in a quick nine holes before lunch.

“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.” ~Phyllis Diller

“When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.” ~Author Unknown

Travel companies spotted a niche and began creating golfing holiday packages for ardent players looking to experience more of the same but in different surroundings. Something for which golfing widows the world over do not thank them. Previously, getting golfing husbands to go on holiday, away from their precious clubs, was like taking a kid to the dentist. Now, with golfing holidays, widows don’t stand a chance of re-establishing contact with their errant other halves. Many widows have, out of desperation, taken an interest, or feigned an interest in the game just so that they can remember what their partners look like.

“If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.” ~Dean Martin

Much has been said about the game of golf, most of it by the players themselves. Some of what is said is sage and philosophical:
“If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.” ~Percey Boomer

Some is self-deprecating:
“For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.” – Dave Barry
“My handicap? Woods and irons.” ~Chris Codiroli

Some gently mocks the skills of others:
"Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle." -Jackie Gleason
“Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellent Tennis for Beginners.” ~Henry Beard, Golfing, 1985

Some focus on the social aspect of the game:
“If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” ~Jack Lemmon
“It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling.” ~Mark Twain

Some is repeated:
“Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.” ~Robin Williams, 1986
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” ~Tiger Woods

And some relates to the beauty of the game:
“Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.” ~Val Doonican

But as far as those who lack enthusiasm about the game are concerned, perhaps Peter Andrews said it best when he said:

“There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?” ~Peter Andrews

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Sandra wrote this article for the online marketers Turkish Golf Villas golfing real estate one of the premier realtors for golfing property in Turkey.