Signs of Trouble in a Marriage

According to reports, 50% of married couples opt for divorce as a solution for their strained relationship. But one should understand that marriages rarely die overnight. It is a process of slow destruction which sets in bit by bit. A marriage either flourishes or collapses and never remains passive. Couples rarely notice the early warnings of a crumbling relationship and a time comes when problems take a gigantic shape. By that time it is too late and nothing can be done to salvage the marriage.

Symptoms of a Troubled Marriage

Having a troubled marriage can be very heart-breaking especially if you are trying hard to make it work. Although, there is no test which can tell the intensity of the problems that a marriage is facing, there are certain symptoms to identify a troubled marriage. Some of them are listed below:

No Communication - You get to know things about your partner’s problems, career, office-related issues, and achievements through a common friend and telephone, and not directly from the horse’s mouth. Both of you have stopped confiding in each other.

Feelings about your Spouse - Somehow you have developed negativity about your spouse and you feel that whatever your spouse does is incorrect.

Constant Arguments - Arguments become more pervasive and a daily routine. Most of the time there is a repetition of old arguments over and over again without reaching a definite solution. You no longer require a reason to argue and indulge in ‘Blame-Game’ frequently. Conflicts become frequent and anger and crying becomes the order of the day.

No Outings - Outings and weekends have become a thing of the past. You rarely attend family gatherings since you are required to go there together. You avoid being with each other and even when you are together there is no communication between you.

Separate Bedrooms - Even though living under the same roof and spending hours together you don’t seem to have anything in common. You stop sharing the same bed and eventually the same room. You do daily chores as a routine and you have stopped talking and laughing together. Silence prevails most of the time and if a conversation ever happens it ends up in a fight.

Lack of Sexual Intimacy - From lovers you have turned into just roommates. You’ve stopped intimate relations with your partner. There is a considerable decline in physical affection. Intimacy is an important factor in maintaining a healthy relationship between a husband and a wife without which a marriage is incomplete.

Not Respecting Each Other - Since there is no intimacy and closeness left between both of you, gradually the respect that you have for one another also seems to evaporate into thin air. When in an argument, you don’t hesitate in calling each other names; you are not attentive to your spouse’s feelings and problems and often blame one another for everything that goes wrong.

Not Seeking a Solution to Marital Problems - Both of you exhibit a lack of willingness to solve marital problems. You see divorce as the only solution to these problems. Patience and love is replaced with contempt and resentment. You have already begun to think about divorce since you see it as the only way out.

Extra-marital Affair - The reduction in intimacy and sex results in search of other potential and prospective partners. When extra-marital affairs come into the picture, jealousy and hatred between the couple starts dominating the relationship.

Children’s Behaviour – You children’s behaviour seems to take a negative turn, all of a sudden. Affected by the stress at home, they fair poorly at school and get involved in drug abuse or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous.

The Last Word

You have to adopt a proactive role and make a deliberate attempt towards solving the problems that your married life is facing. Don’t hesitate in getting external help if you think that the intervention of a marriage counsellor will help. But, even after trying all the options to sort things out, if nothing really seems to work, then divorce is inevitable. It’s time then to start getting prepared to end your marriage once and for all.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

Article Source:
http://www.articletrader.com/society/divorce/signs-of-trouble-in-a-marriage.html