Give a Speech? I’d Rather Die!

Jerry Seinfeld famously joked that at a funeral, the average person would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy. Indeed, according to national surveys the fear of public speaking is America’s greatest fear, surpassing the fear of illness, fear of flying, fear of terrorism, and amazingly, the fear of death itself.

Nearly everyone suffers some level of nerves when speaking in front of a group. But for some people the anxiety can be overwhelming. These people fear public speaking so much, they experience nausea, cold sweats and sheer panic. In these cases the regular advice – exhortations like ‘be prepared’ or ‘imagine your audience naked’– simply does no good.

Having spent years coaching people with intense phobias like the fear of public speaking, I’ve learned techniques that can help you overcome these debilitating fears. One of the most effective is a technique called Anchoring.

How You Create Fear

To beat your fear of speaking in public, you first need to understand how you create fear in your mind and in your body. The way you feel at any moment in time is a direct result of two things: your Focus and your Physiology. Focus is the way you are using your mind: what you are thinking, and the language you use inside your head. Physiology is the way you are using your body: your posture, your breathing, and even things like how tired you are.

Every feeling you have is a result of a recipe composed of the Focus & Physiology you are using at that moment. Change Physiology and Focus and immediately your feelings change.

It is physiologically impossible to feel afraid while moving around with your head up, breathing full healthful breaths and thinking and talking about things you are happy and excited about. Try it and see.

Anchoring Yourself

Jumping around like an acrobat and singing your favorite song will definitely shift you into a much more positive state, but you’ll need a more discrete strategy for use before an audience!

The answer is Anchoring, a simple technique that taps into your neurology’s system for linking feelings to experience. You have already experienced anchoring thousands of times. It works like this: whenever something unique happens and you are in an intense emotional state your nervous system creates a link between the two.

Perhaps the first time you fell in love, there was a song that you heard on the radio. At the time that song played over and over again, and you were in the intense emotional state. Maybe it even became “your song.” Now whenever you hear that song that feeling of falling in love comes back.

In this case your mind created a link – an anchor - between a powerful feeling and a stimulus.

We can use this same sort of anchoring to transform how you feel about public speaking. You deliberately create a link between some kind of unique stimulus - one you control and can use whenever you want - and the kind of calm, confident emotions you want to experience when speaking in public.

So, begin by choosing a stimulus. I find that a simple, discrete action such as squeezing your fist works best. Next, practice tying that stimulus to positive emotions. Think of a fond memory, spend time with a loved one, or perhaps imagine yourself at your favorite vacation spot. Practice your stimulus during these times. Repeat this until you find you can recall the desired feeling anytime you want by using your stimulus.

This technique works like a savings account. The more you put into it, the more useful it becomes.

And, like a savings account, the reward can be huge: a vast reservoir of calmness and confidence you can draw on whenever you chose.

Why not give it a try?

Seymour Segnit is the President of Change That’s Right Now, a New York based company that has helped hundreds of people overcome chronic phobias. Visit him at ChangeThatsRightNow.com.